What have you got to lose?

I was having a conversation with a friend about this blog and my intentions, and this friend asks me: "What have you got to lose?" ... Maybe I don't have anything to lose. Maybe I do. A candidate for President who is taken seriously gets a secret service detail. I think that is because being a candidate makes you a target. Being a celebrity certainly does, but they have money to pay guards and live behind iron gates. I don't have the kind of money or assets that those people who typically run for president do. I live in an apartment with my wife and two children. She teaches middle school science, and I program computers for some company. Let me just add that I do not speak publicly for my employer. Being an employee is how I provide for my family. Sharing my dream of running for president is like opening up my diary and letting you peek at my soul. Don't confuse the aspect of wanting to make the world a better place and using my talents of programming with representing anyone other than myself. The only way you get to conflate my representing anyone else is if some Tuesday in November, some crazy high number of American voters actually vote for me.

So what do I have to lose? Well, this can go viral, and then instead of doing what I love to do for a living - solve challenging technical problems, something I might have said, or written or not could come out about me, and suddenly, I could be out, without a job, and nobody willing to take in my resume for what I'm most qualified. That's the biggest fear. There are other fears - that someone is triggered by my honest sharing of ideas and acts to harm me. There are fears of too much success - maybe this goes viral slowly, and I get a following, but now it takes over my life, and I lose my friends to people trying to get closer. The presidency is a lonely job. The internet is a strange place. I'm not naive to the dangers of putting yourself out on the internet. Fears are real. Some people are right to be paranoid!

So why do it? Because maybe this might get a following. Maybe this might convince people that we have an alternative to the two party system. Maybe we can spark discussion. I'm treating this blog as an Art project. It's self-reflective of the things I value. At this point, it's a couple paragraphs a night. You get to hear directly from me on whatever I want to write about. I'll be almost 42 the next time a presidential election is held. I sat out the last one thinking that it wasn't my time. This time, I worry maybe I don't have too much time left to sit on the sidelines. Even if I do nothing but comment on the goings on, perhaps that commentary might change the course of history. In any event, it's a more active way to spend my time than watching TV every night! Of all the things I fear, maybe fearing that my contribution to society is empty is the biggest fear of all. It's a certainty if I do nothing.